I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I am naked and annoyed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
