Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
