Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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