i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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