the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
