a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
