I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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