I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
