I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
