his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just want to make out with him forever
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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