You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
