I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
