I wish I could teleport
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
