you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
As shirtless as possible
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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