If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
