There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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