He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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