she was so not down for the gang bang
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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