hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
