Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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