'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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