There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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