my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize