Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
