Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
