I accidentally had phone sex last night
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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