HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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