Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
