and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
