Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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