butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
