I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
