like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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