I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
