what if every blade of grass was a penis?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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