Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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