.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
