My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
