i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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