But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
