dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
