all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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