Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
