You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
