Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
