Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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