I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
