i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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