Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize