just tell him i said nine months
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ketchup is God's man juice
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she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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