you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize