Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
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Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
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I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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