she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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