tell your sister to shave her snatch
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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