I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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