i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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